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At the end of the game, the King and the Pawn goes into the same box

Course on Parenting November 22, 2015

Filed under: Family — visitor74 @ 10:14 pm

  

 Note: I’ve been a parent almost two years now. Currently the achallenges are about raising my daughter’s physical well-being, her food, her development and whatnot. 

But I know that there will come a time when her religion and her akhlak would need to be nurtured . I need to be ready for that. This didn’t come with my daughter when we got her. Usually, when we buy electrical products, it comes with a manual. We don’t  get a manual when we got our children, do we?

So I’m turning to Nouman Ali Khan who has sort through the Qur’an for verses to prepare us to nurture our children. I’m twriting his down for my references later. 

——

Parenting these days are different with the past. No more decency in the society like it used to. Looking back even a few years ago. In a couple of decades, things has changed dramatically. The way Islam is practised is different already. It’s not the same with our time. Islam is used to be on autopilot. Because there’s Islamic environment already. Decency was prevailing, respect was normal, children were exposed to Islam really. 
Things has changed dramatically. Children exposed to bad things early and it has become a norm. This is the age of YouTube, Twitter, Facebook etc. it’s so prevailing nowadays. All those gates to mungkar. Majority follow a certain lifestyle that is not good. That’s the dominant culture. Harder because we are minority. The child wants to blend with the majority and don’t want to look weird. So they do bad things just to be accepted. We need to do extra. And it’s not easy. 
So what can we do? We need to look to what Allah is saying about parenting. Apart from giving them shelter, food and stuff. Is there anything else? Is it just that. So we need to look at ayats and looking for parenting values. What does parenting means? 
Chapters involved:
1. Our children is a blessings. A gift from Allah. 

2. What should be our concerns as parents?

3. Kids can be a trial. 

4. We and our children on judgement day. 

5. Parental psychology from surah Yusuf and Qassas. 

6. Important lessons to teach our children from Quran. What are important things that they should know as children. 

7. Allah encourage to devout our children for the service of Islam. Prepare the child to serve Allah deen. Because they are children of Allah to be used for His deen.

Importance of parenting 
Nisa:1 
‎يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ الَّذِي خَلَقَكُم مِّن نَّفْسٍ وَاحِدَةٍ وَخَلَقَ مِنْهَا زَوْجَهَا وَبَثَّ مِنْهُمَا رِجَالًا كَثِيرًا وَنِسَاءً وَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ الَّذِي تَسَاءَلُونَ بِهِ وَالْأَرْحَامَ إِنَّ اللَّهَ كَانَ عَلَيْكُمْ رَقِيبًا
O people! be careful of (your duty to) your Lord, Who created you from a single being and created its mate of the same (kind) and spread from these two, many men and women; and be careful of (your duty to) Allah, by Whom you demand one of another (your rights), and (to) the ties of relationship; surely Allah ever watches over you.
Allah honored Adam in this verse, our father. What about the mother? The word وَالْأَرْحَامَ means the womb. This points to the mother. 

Then Allah told us to make taqwa. We have to take care of our relation with Allah as mentioned in اتَّقُوا رَبَّكُمُ. There are right of Allah and rights of parents. Parents is honored. Meaning they have a huge responsibility. This is also about parenting. Usually we talk about the rights of parents, But about the responsibility as parents? It comes with the territory. When there’s honour, there comes with it the responsibility. When parents hugely honoured, then that means that they have huge responsibility as well. 

To be continued. 

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Happy 1st birthday Husna!!! January 23, 2015

Filed under: Family — visitor74 @ 4:35 pm

Birthday Husna

My dearest Husna, my love. You turned 1 year yesterday. What a momentous occasion and joy for abba and ibbu. It has been a lovely year indeed. Watching you grow day by day, watching your antics, your quirks and all. Your cheeky smile is infectious. It made my day, every day. When I feel down, I just remember your smile.

Everyday I watched you sleep and made a mental calculation of how big you have grown. I tried to remember the days when I can hold you on one arm and not feel a thing. And now, I have to keep shifting you from left to right because you are getting heavier! My oh my….

People told me not to hold you too much. Nanti manja. But I just thought that my days of picking you up is numbered. So I decide to hold you tight.

Ibbu worries about you developments. So little girl, you have to beef up some effort here. Which you’ve tried, no doubt. Just the other day, you already sitting on your own! I’m so proud. I’m sure you’re going to turn out fine, no worries!

Husna,

Your journey is still far. I wish that I could be there along the way, watching you. Though I might just look from afar. Don’t be made at me if I don’t pick you up immediately. I won’t be there all the time, so you need to be strong and independent. A good parent ‘prepare the child for the road’ and not ‘the road for the child’. I hope you understand. Though my heart leaped to ease you wound and bumps, I have to contain myself.

Husna,

We hit a speed-bump these past few days. You’ve been diagnosed with a disease. It’s not a rare one and so it’s manageable. Ibbu dan Abba will do everything humanly possible to ease you through this. And the rest, we leave to Allah. May Allah blessed you and make you strong, make you cheerful and make you healthy.

Husna,

You are much loved by family, friends and strangers alike. You touched people’s life as you touched ours. May Allah bless this family and make us the residents of jannah together. As our prayer taught by Allah in Furqan:74

وَالَّذِينَ يَقُولُونَ رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَاجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّاتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍ وَاجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

And those who pray, “Our Lord! Grant unto us wives and offspring who will be the comfort of our eyes, and give us (the grace) to lead the righteous.”

Ameen.

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Advise for Husna July 1, 2014

Filed under: Family — visitor74 @ 11:44 pm

Dear Husna My love,

You have just turn five and I have to leave you again. Okay, five months to be exact. Still, an achievement. I am now in Shenzhen, China and it is hard for me because you are not here. I love to go back home and see you. All my worries and tiredness left me the moment I see you.

My dear Husna,
For these few months, it has been a roller-coaster ride for me and ibbu. We worry a a lot about you. A lot. You don’t know how many times when you sleep, I would poke you to make sure you’re still breathing. Because you were so still. And so small! These days, I just watch your breathing. Your diagram going up and down. Up and down. And I just stare at you. Still vigilant, but no more poking. I promise.

On this joyous occasion, allow me to ‘talk’ to you a bit. I’m not sure when we can have this kind of talk, so I just pen it here for you to read in your leisure time.

I have been talking about your future with your mom. Yeah, she don’t entirely agree with everything that I have planned for you. For example, you are to stay with us for the rest of your life; You will be homeschooled so that you are well protected from the other nuisance outside. If you think about it, I’m saving you from a lot of drama. Really, there’s nothing much out there; your friends would need to screened by me; you are not to watch too much tv; etcetera etcetera. I don’t know whether I will change my mind later on. Your mother think that I’m being overprotective (read: crazy) and in time, I might let go a bit.

But meanwhile, I need you to hear this advise:
Learn to say ‘no’ when you have to. We are in a culture where we want to please people. And we abhor the thought of disappointing other people. Or we hate the idea that people hate us if we say ‘no’. But if you say ‘yes’ and your heart is not into it, then there’s no point of saying it in the first place. And if you feel that you are doing something wrong, then your ‘yes’ is a no-no. And when you have to say no, it is better to do it sooner rather than later. Learn to stake your ground and say no.

Don’t stare at people. If you caught yourself doing that, you got that from me. And I got that from my mother. Sekali tu Abba tengok Opah tengok kat orang lain, selamba jer. At least try to be discreet. I know, we are intrigue by other people – the beauty and ugly. You wonder why they are like that and what their lives would be like. And we don’t really bothered by people staring at us, right? But people don’t like to be stared at, that’s all. All in moderation, Husna.

Don’t watch too much tv. I did that most of my childhood life and I guess I missed out on the more fun things. I become sort of a recluse. Had to learn to be socially adept at later age. Luckily I went to boarding school and that forces me to be friendly with other people. We’re going to limit your entertainment. Too much of it is not good. I remember what Ziggy said: “I found that television is very educational. Every time someone turns on the tv, I would go to the other room to read”. Studies has shown that children who doesn’t watch too much tv, turns out to be bright and intelligent.

That brings me to my next point: read, read and read. People don’t read enough, I say. Their mind therefore is mostly backward. I really hope that you developed the passion for reading. Now, what I mean reading is good books, not magazine about media, entertainment and stuff like that. I also don’t mean newspaper. As you might have seen, I don’t read too much newspaper. I agree that I might not be abreast of the current situation, but I find out that it’s not that important. Anything important at one particular time will so die off and you don’t even need to remember them. Books, on the hand, is timeless and will continue to be useful for years to come. If you see me capable of looking far, it’s because I sit on the shoulder of giants.

Don’t sweat the small stuff. Choose the battle for you to fight. Sometimes thinking too much about things are just a time waster. For example, a lot people wonder about what other people think. And they beat themselves about it. But hear this: you can’t change what other people think, that’s just the way they are. And they think like that is because they mind is caught up on small things as well. And they are not capable to change their mind easily. There are time to consider other people’s feeling and there time to just let it go.

Respect the elders. There will come a time when you think you know more than older people. No no no. They know more than you. They have gone through many more things than you. The reason you think you know more is just because you mind has not expanded yet. Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you know more than other people. For that matter, don’t look down on younger people as well. They might know more than you and you’d make a fool of yourself if you just assume that you know more just because you are older.

Never tell a lie. Be like Benjamin Franklin who said: “I cannot tell a lie”. You don’t want to feel the pain of people finding out you were lying. Allah also don’t like us to tell a lie. Speak the truth wherever you are.

Around a month back, a girl in her twenties, decided to run for office under DAP. A Malay girl at that. Which is unheard of before. I don’t know what is the political condition in your time, but this girl created a wave which was never there before. She’s either very brave or very stupid. Why I’m telling you this? Because I want to tell you to STAY AWAY FROM POLITIC! I don’t care what you believe which party IS good or what, just don’t do anything about it. Don’t register for any party, don’t campaign for either parties, don’t marry a politician, basically, don’t affiliate yourself with politics. Now, this is dicey situation we have here. Your mother took political science at university and your grandmother is somewhat of a public figure for one of the parties. So, they are well informed about politics. So, you can read and know about politics but just don’t act on it. Just so you can know what is happening with our politician and our country. I myself tend to ignore them totally. The politicians do make a good laugh sometimes with their stupid comments and acts and I would follow what is happening for a few days. But just for comedic relief.

Don’t follow what other people do just because you want to. Keep up with them. We now live in a very commercialized living. The media tend to determine what we need to have, to wear, to eat, to go for holiday etc. So you might feel the pressure to spend money on things that you don’t need. You might feel the need to wear branded cloth, expensive phone, expensive car. This is because the media has molded your thinking. They want you to spend money as much as possible into their coffer. It’s legalize robbery. You don’t need to know brands and spend money to buy them when you can have a perfectly acceptable product cheaper.

I’ve witnessed a new trend of social media during my lifetime. I’m not sure what the effect yet to your generation. But I see bad things coming. People sharing mundane little things in their life. People do have the prerogative. But I hope that you would exercise caution with this thing. I hope that you would take care to use it for benefit and not for showing off, to share pictures that’s too revealing and such and such. And lastly about the social media…

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Dear Husna,

You are our first child, so we don’t have experience handling and raise a child. We are doing the best that we can. We want to instill the best education possible for you. The best care. But we would not give everything to you. You have to learn independence. We are not going to be there all the time. Allah knows our time is limited. By the time you’re in college, I’d be way too old to help you every step of the way. Therefore, there are times that you would have to settle your problem on your own. And we would watch. We can’t tell you what to do, you have to do it yourself. Otherwise, you would be too dependent on people that you cannot stay on you own. Someone said: “prepare your child for the road, not the road for your child.” I think that that’s the best advise ever. So, you’re on your own, kiddo!

Till next time Husna. I already got back from china and I’m now taking care of you. Today is the first day of ramadhan for you. Of course you are oblivious to the fact. The latest feat that you’ve accomplished to ‘meniarap’. That’s super thing that you did there. I hope that I would be able to see more accomplishment. Your standing, running, mumbling your first word, riding a bike and all. Though it’s hard for me to make up my mind – do I want you to grow, or do I want you stay this way for the rest of your life… because you are so cute now!

 

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The naming of Husna حسنى April 16, 2014

Filed under: Family — visitor74 @ 4:07 pm

After 83 days you were born, I finally got around to register your name. Yup, your Abba is a procrastinator.

Now, you might be wondering why you are named Husna. While your friends at school has long names, you might be ashamed that you only have two syllables as representation of you. Other people mostly have two, three and God forbid, four names and you have only one lousy name. You might wonder why has gotten into me by giving you this name. Many, have asked, “Husna? Husna apa?” as if expecting another follow up to your name. Some, your Opah included, remarked: “alaa, Husna ajer?”, as if I have robbed you of your proper name. Heck, if your mother had her way, you are now called Nadine Suraya. I agree, that would be a more glamorous name.

You had some medical issues when you small; you cries a lot (duhhh, a child cries, so what?), you cough a lot, restless and generally craves attention all the time (you are my daughter after all, so that’s expected), and some well minded aunts said that Husna doesn’t suits you and they suggested Nur Husna. I would have non of it. Memang orang Melayu ada yang tukar nama bila anak mereka sakit. Tapi itu adalah fahaman karut, so you stuck with Husna.

I don’t know what you are being called now. It could be Oona, Nana, simply ‘Na’, Cuna, Dekna whatever, but you will always be ‘Husna’ to me.

And when your schoolmates would have problem writing their name, trying to spell their name in Jawi and it turned out funny, can’t find the meaning of their name in Arabic, having trouble filling in forms with limited boxes, can’t find a name tag big enough to hold their names, you will eventually thank me that I named you Husna.

The name حسنى means ‘goodness’ and I hope that you would embody this meaning throughout your existence. You would spend the rest the your life to live up to this name and I would see that this would be fulfilled.

So, you might be interested to know how your name is Husna.
First, I know that you will only have one name. With two syllables. No more. I know that most names would be more than that. People like to name their child with two, three or four names. They would just pick and choose. Or one name from the father, one from the mother. And another might be from the grandparents. Just so you know, there’s no other people involved in giving your name. So, if you don’t like it, you have only me to blame; Most people would just name their child without knowing the meaning. Mereka nak yang bunyi sedap sahaja. Lepas tu check dalam bahasa Arab, tidak ada makna. Ada pula tu apabila check, tengok makna tidak bagus. Memang ada yang check dalam buku, but I’ve found that the translation is not very accurate. So your is not from any “100 nama anak perempuan dalam Islam” or something like that. When you have a child, I hope that you would check the real meaning of your name from a knowledgeable person and not just swiping it from a book.
I’ve always liked how Baba, Auntie Siham’s father gave names to his children. You have Auntie Siham, his brother Uncle Sayf and his youngest son, Sinan. And you should know Auntie Siham and Uncle Mikail’s daughter, Nahla. Simple names, interesting characters. So I’ve always want my child to have just a single name. I did asked Baba to name you though. He suggested ‘Raudhah’ which means ‘Garden’. Nice name, but it didn’t struck a chord with me. Sorry Baba…
Bill Cosby said, when you name your child, it should end in a vowel. So that, when you cry their name outload, the wind can easily carry it. See how your name ends with ‘a’? When you got lost, or wandered too far, your mother and I can call outloud “Husnaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa”. See how it works?
So, where does Husna comes from? For a while now, I’ve have this fascination with Nouman Ali Khan. He’s an American Pakistani and he used to be a professor of Arabic at a college. He has since been doing a lot tafsir works and I like how he explained Quran in linguistic lexicon. He also taught Arabic language online which I follow, at bayyinah.tv. You might have seen me undergo his class which babysitting you. Or not. You cried most of the time. So, his Arabic class is called: “Arabic with Husna’. tadaaaa, that’s how you got your name. I’m impressed with how intelligent and cute Husna is, so I thought that I want my daughter to be called Husna, too. I’ve never see Husna, but here’s a behind the scene video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=baum0X230nI

I hope that would explain to you and everyone else on how your name came about. I hope that you would live up to your name. I hope that you would love your name as much as I do. I hope that you would find someone who would call that name with love, and me and your mother do. Arab people have a special nickname which called ‘Kuniah’. They would call themselves by the name of their child. I’m proud when people call me ‘Abu Husna’ – the father of Husna. And people would call your mother ‘Umm Husna’. We love being called that because we love you, Husna.

 

Game changer March 18, 2014

Filed under: Family — visitor74 @ 12:10 am

So, my status has been upgraded a while ago. I am now a father. A person with another huge responsibility. A father. An abba, Abah, walid, daddy, papa. Selepas hampir 12 tahun kahwin, tidak boleh tidak, sudah ada rasa aku tidak akan dapat anak. Aku dah terima mungkin itulah nasib aku. Pada aku, itulah ketetapan Allah. Tidaklah aku tidak redha dengan nasib sebegini. Dari dulu lagi, semasa baca Quran, aku dah jumpa ayat 59 & 59 surah Waaqiah.

أَفَرَأَيْتُم مَّا تُمْنُونَ

(Mengapa kamu masih berdegil?) Tidakkah kamu memikirkan keadaan air mani yang kamu pancarkan (ke dalam rahim)?

أَأَنتُمْ تَخْلُقُونَهُ أَمْ نَحْنُ الْخَالِقُونَ

Adakah kamu yang menciptakannya atau Kami yang menciptakannya?

Dari ayat itu, aku faham dan terima bahawa kejadian dapat anak atau tidak, terletak pada tangan Allah. Bukan pada usaha kami suami isteri. Walaupun kami telah melakukan apa yang sepatutnya untuk mendapatkan anak, tapi Allah yang tentukan. Walau orang lain tanya macam-macam, aku buat tak kisah.

Tidak pernah aku salahkan isteri aku dan keadaan kesihatannya yang tidak berapa baik. Aku redha. Dia sakit pun bukan dia yang buat. Buat salah dia. Some people tend to blame her. Like she have a choice. Like she can control it. Padahal sakit, ajal dan maut semuanya di tangan Allah. Alhamdulillah, pemahaman aku tentang perkara ini tidak pernah strain our relationship because of the fact that we don’t have a baby. It is not a deal-breaker. I know she worries about me. But it’s quite unfounded. I’m more concerned about her. Most man would like to have a child. But ALL women would want one. And for a long time, she was not blessed with that. I know that she felt alone. Her innate motherly feeling is not spent on a baby.

We had three miscarriages. Each time, I thought that it’s the one. After the third time, it tend to put down our hope. I’m not lying, it was very hard on me when we had those miscarriages. I’ve already spoken to the baby inside the womb, made this blog to document the events that transpired during those times – so that when I’m old or I’m gone, he/she can refer to it to see what’s been happening during those time that she grew up and I can’t talk to her; I’ve imagined what he/she would look like, things like that.

The fact that my wife can conceives, shows that she is not barren. Just that there’s a bit of a tweak inside the biology of the womb that made it not possible for the baby to grow.

Dalam masa kami tidak dapat anak, kami telah terus berusaha macam-macam cara. Dari segi pemakanan, jumpa doktor pakar, berdoa, exercise dan macam-macam lagi. Cuma aku tak pergi jumpa bomoh, ustaz itu dan ini, Darul Syifa’ atau Darul mana-mana. Sebab aku tidak percaya dengan amalan-amalan mereka. Memang banyak yang percaya dan suruh kami pergi. Tapi kami tak pergi. Tentu mereka hairan kenapa kami tak pergi. Pada mereka, kami memang ada masalah, maka pada mereka kami patut pergi. Mungkin dah ramai dah yang dapat anak dengan jumpa mereka-mereka itu. Mungkin kepada yang nasihat kami untuk pergi, rasa macam kami tak mahu anak pula.

Aku rasa aku kena jelaskan di sini kenapa kami tak pergi. Aku tak kenal orang-orang yang mereka cadangkan itu. Aku bukan tak biasa dengan amalan-amalan perubatan sebegini. Rasanya, memang dari aku muda belia, sudah ada minat untuk belajar ilmu perubatan alternatif. Sebab itu aku ada belajar Hand Acupuncture, Reiki, Ilmu Gerak, Ilmu perubatan sufi, Tibbun Nabawi, amalan itu ini dan mungkin ada beberapa lagi yang aku dah lupa. Aku suka untuk mengubat orang. Entahlah kenapa. Nak jadi doktor, tak pandai sangat. Boleh belajar alternatif Medicine jer. Jadi bukan aku tak tahu amalan-amalan sebegitu. Aku pun suka baca ayat-ayat Quran. Suka nak tahu ayat ini boleh buat apa, ayat itu apa hikmatnya. Tapi itu semua bukanlah yang diajar oleh Nabi dan Islam. Tidak ada dalil yang sahih. Kalau ada pun, ianya dari pengalaman manusia. Ada yang jadi dan ada yang tidak. Tapi selepas aku belajar sekarang, aku tahu bahawa cara-cara itu ada yang salah. Panjang kalau nak cerita di sini. Hatta, yang dipanggil Darul Syifa’. Ini mesti ramai nak marah aku ni bila aku cakap macam ni.

Aku pun sudah lama berkecimpung dalam ilmu agama. Aku suka mendalami ilmu. Dengan ilmu gerak, tarekat, sufi dan bacaan-bacaan lain. Memang aku suka. Dari muda lagi. Kerana aku hendak tahu. Aku lain dengan orang kebiasaan. Ramai suka tengok bola, main game, dengar lagu dan sebagainya, tapi aku luangkan masa dengan membaca. Cari orang untuk belajar macam-macam. Waktu itu, aku pun suka sangat dengan self-improvement thingy. I was quite good at it.

Cuma ada sekali, masa dengan mak mertua, semasa kami Melaka, dia ajak pergi Perigi Hang Tuah. Aku ingat nak lawat sahaja, tapi rupanya dia suruh minum air perigi itu untuk doa dapat anak. Semoga Allah ampunkan kelemahan aku untuk menolak. Itu semua syirik.

Alhamdulillah, Allah telah beri aku kenal seorang ustaz yang mengajar tafsir Quran. Beliau telah pernah dijumpai orang yang tidak dapat anak. Dia telah nasihatkan mereka dan telah berjaya. Pertamanya, dia mengajar mereka dengan ayat dari surah Waqiah di atas. Apabila dibaca ayat diatas, ada doa yang kita boleh bacakan. Selepas kita baca: أَفَرَأَيْتُم مَّا تُمْنُونَ dan kemudian kita baca: أَأَنتُمْ تَخْلُقُونَهُ أَمْ نَحْنُ الْخَالِقُونَ, kita kena faham bahawa itu adalah statement yang memerlukan jawapan dari kita. Kerana Allah bertanya dalam ayat itu. Kau yang buat atau Aku yang buat anak kau itu? Maka hendaklah kita menyatakan bahawa Allah lah yang buat. Maka, kita jawap: bal, Anta ya Rabb! Bahkan! Engkaulah ya Allah!

Selepas kita cakap macam itu, maka kita berdoalah kepada Allah: Ya Allah, apalah kiranya jika kau memberikan kepada aku seorang anak. Tambahlah dengan doa-doa yang sepatutnya. Saya akan memuji Allah dahulu: saya katakan: Ya Allah, Engkaulah yang menjadikan alam ini, Engkaulah yang menjadikan seluruh makhluk, apalah kiranya jika kau memberikan aku seorang anak yang soleh, anak yang pandai, yang bijak, yang sihat yang menggembirakan hati kami. Itulah lebih kurang doa saya. Alhamdulillah, tak lama selepas saya amalkan doa sebegitu, Allah telah kurniakan anak kepada saya.

Maknanya, ustaz itu hanya ajar ‘cara berdoa’ kepada kita dan kita buat sendiri. Sesungguhnya memang lah senjata orang mukmin adalah doa. Cuma kalau kita doa dah lama tapi tak dapat, mungkin ada kurang dengan cara doa kita itu. Jadi kena belajar.

Tapi, bukan itu sahaja doa saya. Ada lagi. Iaitu mengambil sunnah dari doa Nabi Zakaria. Doa Nabi Zakaria itu ada dalam surah Maryam.

إِذْ نَادَىٰ رَبَّهُ نِدَاءً خَفِيًّا
(Ingatkanlah peristiwa) ketika Nabi Zakaria berdoa kepada tuhannya dengan doa permohonan secara perlahan.
– Ini bermakna, dalam berdoa itu kita kenalah bersungguh-sungguh tapi dalam nada yang perlahan. Nada memohon betul-betul dengan Allah. Mengharap pertolongan dari Allah. Kita beritahu kepada Allah bahawa kita tidak ada tempat lain hendak meminta kecuali kepada Allah sahaja.

Jadi, bukanlah saya jadikan ayat Quran sebagai amalan azimat yang dibaca berkali-kali seperti yang dibuat orang. Mereka baca berkali-kali tapi bukan mereka faham apa yang mereka baca.

Husna anak Abba….

Tak tahu bilakah anak abah ni akan dapat baca kata-kata abah ni. Abah tak pandai menulis, jauh sekali memberi nasihat. Tapi Abah buat blog ni bila ibu mula mengandung dulu beberapa tahun yang lepas. Abah nak tinggalkan pesanan buat anak-anak abah. Abah tak tahu bila abah akan pergi …. Takut abah tak sempat nak pesan kepada anak-anak abah. Jadi abah nak pesan dalam blog sahaja. Sebab abah teringat pesan Nabi Yaakub kepada anak-anaknya dalam surah Baqarah:

أَمْ كُنتُمْ شُهَدَاءَ إِذْ حَضَرَ يَعْقُوبَ الْمَوْتُ إِذْ قَالَ لِبَنِيهِ مَا تَعْبُدُونَ مِن بَعْدِي قَالُوا نَعْبُدُ إِلَٰهَكَ وَإِلَٰهَ آبَائِكَ إِبْرَاهِيمَ وَإِسْمَاعِيلَ وَإِسْحَاقَ إِلَٰهًا وَاحِدًا وَنَحْنُ لَهُ مُسْلِمُونَ

(Demikianlah wasiat Nabi Yaakub) Kamu tiada hadir ketika Nabi Yaakub hampir mati, ketika ia berkata kepada anak-anaknya: “Apakah yang kamu akan sembah sesudah aku mati?” Mereka menjawab: “Kami menyembah Tuhanmu dan Tuhan datuk nenekmu Ibrahim dan Ismail dan Ishak, iaitu Tuhan yang Maha Esa, dan kepadaNyalah sahaja kami berserah diri (dengan penuh iman)”.

Abah harap anak-anak abah ada ilmu agama. Tahu apa yang patut dibuat. Jangan hanya ikut-ikut orang sahaja. Jangan ikut nafsu sahaja. Dunia sekarang amat susah nak menjaga agama. Banyak sangat dugaan. Banyak sangat pendapat. Masyarakat pandang kalau dah mengucap, dah boleh masuk syurga. Kata macam-macam perkara yang bukan diambil dari agama. Abah takut anak-anak abah pun terpesong. Abah takut anak abah tidak ada ilmu.

Abah harap abah boleh beri ilmu pengetahuan agama pada Husna. Tapi bila Husna dah besar, abah pun dah tua – itupun kalau abah ada lagi. Maka abah ambil kesempatan ini untuk bercakap-cakap dengan Husna.

Husna tahu tak? Dulu Abah takut juga untuk dapat anak. Sebab abah rasa abah tak layak nak mendidik anak. Macam juga abah tak suka kalau cikgu Sekolah dan pensyarah universiti tak pandai mengajar. Abah cakap dalam hati, kalau tak pandai mengajar, tak payah lah mengajar…. Tapi apa kan daya, Allah dah tanam dalam diri manusia untuk ada keinginan nak dapat anak. Itulah kelangsungan kehidupan dalam dunia. Kalau semua orang tak usaha nak dapat anak, bagaimana zuriat manusia akan bertambah?

Maka, ketahuilah Husna, bahawa nota-nota dalam blog ini adalah untuk Husna baca dan amalkan. Husna baca yer? Sehingga bertemu kembali. I love you so much.

 

Belasungkawa Pak Lang January 29, 2012

Filed under: Diary,Family,Ilmu,Travelling — visitor74 @ 12:22 pm

Semalam balik ke Melaka kerana seorang lagi pakcik isteri meninggal. Bila majlis kematian, seperti biasa akan menyebabkan aku sedikit keluh kesah. Kematian adalah satu masa yang akan membuatkan umat Islam melakukan banyak perkara tanpa usul periksa sama ada betul ataupun tidak.

Jadi aku akan rasa serba salah. Dalam membuat tuntutan Ilahi tentang menguruskan jenazah dan memberikan penghormatan terakhir, aku akan terpaksa melihat dan berada dalam bidaah yang nyata.

Antaranya adalah:
Membaca yaasin kepada simati. Akan kelilingilah ramai-ramai, masing-masing akan pegang buku yaasin. Itulah yang mereka bacakan. Niatnya adalah baik. Mungkin untuk dihadiahkan pahala bacaan kepada simati. Atau protect simati dar gangguan. Takut masa Itulah nanti ada benda nak masuk. Atau takut kucing hitam langkah ke dan sebagainya.
Yang ada dalam hadith yang sahih adalah kita digalakkan untuk membaca kepada pesakit yang *hampir* mati. Bukan bila dah mati. Bila dah mati, kita hanya boleh tolong dia dengan baca dia sahaja.
Oh, satu lagi, sakit mata aku tengok orang selit buku yaasin kat bantal pesakit atau simati. Aku ingat syaitan iblis kan gelak kecil kalau tengok. Manalah benda tu boleh halang dia? Kita pulak boleh percaya buku yaasin tu hebat sangat sampai boleh halang syaitan?! Nau’zubillahi min zaalik. Subhanallah!

Solat jenazah. Aku tak pernah tengok tapi ada org mentioned pasal solat jenazah bagi duit kat orang. Supaya orang akan tolong mintak doa kepada simati. Puhleezz la.
Cuma bila aku lambat hari tu nak solat kan jenazah, aku solatkan di kubur. Hmm, aku rasa Kalau ada yg tengok aku buat tu mesti heran. Sebab dorang tak tau bahawa Nabi pun pernah buat macam tu kat sahabat dia.

Masa nak angkat jenazah keluar dr masjid, setiap langkah, mereka akan baca fatihah. Datang dari mana ni? Letihnya Kalau aku pun masa tu tengah mengusung jugak. Alahai. Semoga Allah terima bahawa aku tak buat benda bidaah tu.

Bila nak letak mayat kat dalam liang, mereka akan letak bebola tanah yang dibaca doa. Kalau ada bola tu mereka, maka malaikat takkan tanya. Kalau betul, aku nak bola tanah aku nanti sebesar peti ais. Supaya malaikat nampak dr jauh. Wah, takyah mintak ampun la yer?

Talqin. Ni banyak nak citer ni sebenarnya. Tapi malas lah nak tulis banyak banyak. Kalau dorang start baca, aku akan keluar dr kawasan kubur. Tak pernah lagi tak baca lagi nih. Harapnya adalah nanti yg berani tinggalkan amalan bidaah yg besar ni.

Baca doa keliling kubur macam brehlavi.

Buat makan kat rumah si mati. Kesian orang rumah yg terpaksa jamu orang datang untuk makan. Sudahlah saudara meninggal, pening kepala nak bagi orang lain makan pulak. Kalau ada duit, dia akan pening sibuk menguruskan makan tu. Tapi kalau duit pulak takde, yg mati pulak ketua keluarga, alahai… Tak dapat aku bayangkan kesusahan mereka. Sebab aku tak pernah kena lagi. Tapi aku pernah tengok famili yg susah disebabkan oleh nak bagi makan ni. Orang lain akan melahap macam tiada apa-apa. Aku akan makan kat luar siap-siap dan takkan sentuh makanan kenduri ni.

Kenduri tahlil sekali sekala untuk simati. Samada ikut hari hari yang tertentu atau ikut suka bila free. Ringkasnya, perbuatan ini tidak akan menyampaikan pahala kepada simati. Confirm bidaah. Paling kurang tu. Boleh jatuh syirik kalau doa doa atau bacaan dalam tahlil itu akan bercampur dgn perkara syirik.

Sedekah fatihah. Tak sampai la pahala fatihah tu. Siapa kata? Imam Syafie sendiri.

 

Jangan memandu semasa mengantuk December 31, 2011

Filed under: Diary,Family — visitor74 @ 10:56 pm

20111231-225111.jpg

Minggu lepas adik bongsu aku kemalangan. Kalau tengok keadaan kereta kancil dia tu, memang nampak macam tak selamat. Tapi alhamdulillah, dia tak teruk sangat. Kereta dia tiga kali golek lepas langgar lori treller dan bomba kena datang untuk potong Kereta dia. Kalau tak, tak boleh keluar. Dan ada seorang makcik temankan dia tak bagi tidur lepas dia kemalangan tu. Nasib baik ada makcik tu. Allah masih nak selamatkan adik aku lagi.

Dia sekarang banyak kerja tambahan dia buat. Mungkin sebab tu dia mengantuk masa driving nak pergi ke tempat kerja. Udahlah tempat kerja jauh. Dalam 50km jugak dia kena memandu pergi ke tempat kerja hari hari. Kesian dia. Dulu tempat kerja dia dekat, tapi dah kena pindah pulak. Nak jadi cerita.

Tiada yang patah. Tapi dia lemah sekarang. Banyak cedera kat bahagian kaki. Susahlah sekarang nak kerja dan sebagainya.